How To Create a Masterpiece in Six Easy Steps
By Nancy Fulda
Originally published under the title, "Let There Be Write," in Strange Horizons. Posted with Nancy's permission.
(This isn't the GrayMan's writing ... but it was too good not to post. Thanks, Nancy!)
(1) In the beginning the author created the concept and the story.
(2) And the story was without form, and void; and blankness was upon the face of the page. And the fingers of the author moved upon the face of the keyboard.
(3) And the author said, Let there be plot: and there was plot.
(4) And the author saw the plot, that it was good: and the author divided the plot into two characters.
(5) And the author called one character protagonist, and the other he called antagonist. And the evening and the morning were the first day.
(6) And the author said, let there be a problem in the midst of the story, and let it divide the characters from the characters.
(7) And the author called the problem Conflict. And the evening and the morning were the second day.
(8) And the author said, let the story bring forth setting, and imagery, and nifty neat scientific gizmos, or cool magic, each story after its kind: and it was so. And the evening and the morning were the third day.
(9) And the author said, let there be turning points in the conflict to surprise the protagonist and the antagonist, and to be for signs, and for foreshadowings, and for cliffhangers, and surprises. And the evening and the morning were the fourth day.
(10) And the author said, let the story bring forth abundantly the moving creature that hath life: supporting characters and background animals, and pets with personality, each story after its kind, and let them multiply, and fill the pages of the story. And the evening and the morning were the fifth day.
(11) And the author said, let the story bring forth themes, and subthemes, and philosophical lessons to fascinate and taunt the reader, and let them have dominion over the setting, and the imagery, and the host of background characters, and over every lesser thing which creepeth upon the pages.
(12) So the author created the story in the image of his fantasy; many stories, created he them, and he said unto them, be fruitful, and multiply, and replenish my bank account, and bring me prestige and literary acclaim, for you are my greatest work. And the evening and the morning were the sixth day.
(13) And on the seventh day the author rested, and he looked again upon every thing that he had written, and behold, it was a piece of junk.
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